'IT'
Winter has begun here in Portland with the cold weather and the persistant rain. Just the other day I drove to work in the fog. And today I woke up to a half an inch of snow on my poor car, but it doesn't end there; tomorrow is suppose to be worse. Don't get me wrong I love the cold and of course I love the snow, but what I don't love is how it seems to imitate how my life is right now.
Life these days seem to be cold and bitter, where everyone is running to a place much warmer.
I don't know, I try to process and nothing happens or else I choose to ignore it because I am too scared of what will come of my life. I am a college graduate, I am suppose to be living by the moment, making most of every opportunity. I have my whole life ahead of me, don't I? Yet, here I am with doubts, with fears, with insecurites. I don't know if I am where I am suppose to be, and if I am, well, I am not sure I want to be here. But nonetheless, God always has a purpose and a reason for everything, I just can't see it right now. I know I need to trust God and let Him work in and through my life, but it is a bit difficult these days. I am not totally sure why. These past few months have been hard, I came back to Portland with expectations but they were shot down, and now I only have regrets. But I am trying to learn how to overcome them and know that God works through them. But I can't fight the feeling of wanting to be 'home', to be around people who know me and where I am not always on edge to be who I am because I am afraid of how other's will proceive me. Yes, I am 25 and unfortunately still worry about what others think. I am trying to overcome it...but I have aways to go. But nonetheless I want to come home, wherever home may be, camp most likely, but montana in general. Where people know me and know when I just need a hug or a good laugh. And being the season, it is always hard to be away from those you love. So, needless to say....I have 'IT'. And for those who are unaware of this term, I am homesick!!!!! So, if you think of it, please pray that I will trust God to let him work and pray that God will grant me contentment in the midst of my discontent. Thanks.
I love you all!!!!!!!!
Life these days seem to be cold and bitter, where everyone is running to a place much warmer.
I don't know, I try to process and nothing happens or else I choose to ignore it because I am too scared of what will come of my life. I am a college graduate, I am suppose to be living by the moment, making most of every opportunity. I have my whole life ahead of me, don't I? Yet, here I am with doubts, with fears, with insecurites. I don't know if I am where I am suppose to be, and if I am, well, I am not sure I want to be here. But nonetheless, God always has a purpose and a reason for everything, I just can't see it right now. I know I need to trust God and let Him work in and through my life, but it is a bit difficult these days. I am not totally sure why. These past few months have been hard, I came back to Portland with expectations but they were shot down, and now I only have regrets. But I am trying to learn how to overcome them and know that God works through them. But I can't fight the feeling of wanting to be 'home', to be around people who know me and where I am not always on edge to be who I am because I am afraid of how other's will proceive me. Yes, I am 25 and unfortunately still worry about what others think. I am trying to overcome it...but I have aways to go. But nonetheless I want to come home, wherever home may be, camp most likely, but montana in general. Where people know me and know when I just need a hug or a good laugh. And being the season, it is always hard to be away from those you love. So, needless to say....I have 'IT'. And for those who are unaware of this term, I am homesick!!!!! So, if you think of it, please pray that I will trust God to let him work and pray that God will grant me contentment in the midst of my discontent. Thanks.
I love you all!!!!!!!!
