Humbly Walking in Grace

I am not sure what to write here, I have written and erased paragraphs after paragraphs, I just can't seem to sum up what is going on in my heart with words. A lot has happened in the last couple months and more recently in the last month. Fall semester ended after hours of stressful nights consisting of headaches and tears only to result in a failed class and a longing for rest. That rest came with two weeks in Tucson, Arizona. Spending two delightful weeks with the Childs family; reading, sleeping and playing that in itself was a blessing, but it didn't stop there. No, the Lord blessed me time and time again. The warmth of the air, the smell of palm trees (and of course homemade soap), the sight of cacti, and the warmth of Christmas spells blessing and rest. But still the blessings didn't stop there. I was surrounded by a loving family who walks daily in the grace given them. It was a blessing to see and partake in such a family. What more could I ask for? Nothing...it was already more than I deserved. I remember sitting in the Childs' living room one afternoon, the only sounds were the birds beyond the sun-basked window; I couldn't help the tears that trickled down my cheek as I sat in silence. The scene was so surreal, yet tangible. I didn't deserve to sit there basking in the warmth of love that radiated from this family; I didn't deserve anything of that nature. But I was there and I was blessed beyond measure.

This spurred on a plethora of thoughts as I reflected back on my life. Over the years I have been blessed with amazing people in my life, my camp family, the community of Multnomah, the Childs family; people who put their lives on the line to love me for me and for me to love them for them. Through those people I have seen how the Lord desires to love His children and how we are suppose to love Him and each other. The truth that God will never leave us nor forsake us has been a truth that God has been trying to instill in my heart through these people. Through the recollections of my life I was overwhelmed by the many blessings that my unworthy heart spurred on more tears. I couldn't understand and I can't say that I understand now, but what I tasted was not merely my salty tears but grace. Grace is a gift given to an undeserving heart for the intention of manifesting the intensity of love. That is exactly what I experienced and continue to do so. In no way, do I deserve a God to bestow such grace on me for the purpose of manifesting His character of love. But still He desires to do so, how amazing is that…

I am so thankful. I am still astonished by how God works...

So, that’s all for now…

Remember grace allows us to live and to love.